In everyone’s life there are moments that feel suspended in time. Where you feel time runs away with you and that its going to take so much time to get where you want to be.
I find myself getting lost- chasing so many tails I don’t remember which one is the most important, and which one needs to be finished. I’m great at starting something and getting it going- but then before finishing to satisfaction I tend to the find myself swept away by something else. My body image is something I never quite get to the end of.
Like most girls at teenage I was confident, happy and doing so much I could basically eat what I wanted (which wasn’t much). Going to uni massively changed things. I struggled with homesickness much more than I expected or even realised at the time. I lost a lot of confidence over the next few years, lost all exercise and drank and ate too much crap. I put on a lot of weight, stopped and worked on getting it back together- I have lost and gained over the years and now know that it’s how you feel about yourself that gets you to the end.
If you love and respect yourself- you will eat/drink/exercise the right ways to optimum health without thinking about it. As soon as the voice in my head gets a little dismayed, tired, confused- I always finding myself self destructing.
I am getting better at turning it around and know how to do it but it is still very much a hard turn around. I still find it very hard to be nice to myself. The secret is to keep trying. The person who cares most about what you think IS YOU.
Try this exercise. Get a small notebook to carry around with you. Everytime you say something to yourself- write it down. See what you write- mine is all negative at the moment-
I’m failing at keeping patient with my daughter, I’m eating too much chocolate, I’m eating too much period, I’m not reaching my goals, I’m covered in stretch marks/pigmentation marks, I don’t look like me in the mirror/photos- yuck.
Hardly inspiring motivational words to get me where I want to be. I’m great at saying them to others- why not to myself? I selected some Bach Flower remedies. Wrote down in my notebook to carry round with me my positive affirmations and told myself some great things about me. I have to keep doing that till I believe it- now! I can’t be relying in help from my friends- who are all amazing and supportive as are my family esp my husband and Eva and Nate are my biggest fans! I need to get in touch with my best friend, the only one who can change how I feel- Me