New Year, Same old me

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New Year same old me Loula Natural fb

 

New Year…same old me.

For the last 4 years I have not set a single new year resolution (here is last years new year post). This year I have not even given myself an expectation as to how I will change over the year! January is a month for hibernation. Almost always, the coldest, greyest and hardest month of the year. Yet we use it to make big changes? Its bonkers. I take my time in January to see how things settle. My mum died in January 4 years ago, it certainly changed my perspective and many things happened that year to teach me how to live. To live each day the best I can, not as fast as I can.

Last year I did a huge amount of work on releasing fear, anger and resentment. It culminated in me taking a huge stand for myself and walking away from the clinic I was working in to be me. So why would I want to make a list of things I want to change? Every year I try to urge others to wait for spring to make big changes. Otherwise, use January/February  to be kind to yourself, to recharge and be ready to renew.

I recently read something from someone else about being mediocre. “Do you want to live a mediocre life?”. I have taken time to think about this. I have always answered “NO WAY” to this in the past. The answer I have come up for now is this. 

YES

Yes, right now I am absolutely comfortable with being mediocre. Anyone who knows me will be surprised at my answer. Yeah right, the Louise who loves the stage, the limelight, who wants everyone to want and need her around.

Don’t get me wrong, I still know I am brilliant! I know how much I can help others and the world around me, however, right now I am ok with not doing that. Especially not in the same way as I have before. I have been so angry over the years, with the way the world works. Lies, propaganda and corporate greed are a fact of life. YES every small step we take towards change will change our world. Every time we take a look within ourselves and get a little closer to gratitude and self love there is a huge energy shifts around us. These changes are sustainable, these changes are for life. So I am hoping to make mediocre changes this year. Be smaller and quieter in what I say and definitely, how I say it. 

Mediocre is often kinder. it is less pushy and demanding, less bright and bold. Maybe thats what the majority of us need right now. We all know what we need to do to be happier- it is all around us, everyone pushing and shoving to get you to use their way to self-love, health, happiness and (of course still all we want is…) the perfect body. For now I am going to be me. I have not got the perfect body or the perfect solutions. I do have a huge bunch of tools to help you to find yours. I can use my small ways to help you to find beyond mediocre. However I choose not to push my way in front of you, for you to find me and me to help guide you to yourself.

I will take my time slowly and carefully, watching and waiting. There is huge opportunity to be found in 2016. There is no rush, no deadline to be brilliant. Once you take that pressure away, see what you need and really want. What will your body tell you when you take away this forced need to be something else. Where will you go, what will you experience. I have not been anywhere since Easter (apart from Macau, but that is a home from home). Normally I would have really itchy feet, need to be and go and see. I am really feeling more grounded, secure and safe being in the same place for more than a couple of months. Finding the holiday in the everyday rather than living full speed ahead to breaks. So am I happy being average, steady and contained, for now I am.

2016 will be full of ups and downs, just like all the years before it. I am looking forward to what comes my way. I have taken January to be quiet, hibernating, preparing for the opportunity and life of spring and summer. I have catered to my needs and been happy to be out of the spotlight- for now!

How about you, are you content with mediocre?

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New year, Real me

new year real me loulanatural

You may have noticed that I have not written a thing since before Christmas. It is now the last week of January and I finally feel like I have something to say!

I was very tired at the end of last year. I have a strange combination of doing everything at once and then sticking my head in the sand and hiding for a while (some of you may recognise this in yourselves). As a cancerian I retreat back into my shell for rejuvenation sometimes. Always trying to please and help others before myself has exhausted me through the years- combine this with trying to be the best mum I can be and it all just gets too much! I have always been hard on myself about this- but my new years resolution this year is not to be a new me- but to nurture, appreciate, love and try to understand the real me. 

Adrenal quote

At school I was always told that I always “did enough”. My teachers would be frustrated that I did not work harder, that I had so much potential. My ambitions were huge and in my eyes hugely achievable. I was going to be in the Royal Shakespeare Company and I was going to play Beatrice in Much Ado, Elizabeth in an BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. I was going to be a respected actor and I was going to always be in work. I was going to be famous like Judy Dench not like Kim Kardashian. I loved school, the social side and the study side, I wrote all my essays the night before (I have also written 2 thesis’ now both in the week before they were due). I never needed the A’s in my life although some came- others didnt and it never bummed me out. I went to uni then I did my Masters in Acting at The Central School of Speech and Drama (one of the best drama schools in the world)- I loved it and always knew I was great. However, again, I was always told that i wasn’t exceptional. Middle range, I had potential but that I only ever “did enough”.

So I believed them. I kept on doing enough. Enough to live on, enough to get by and have fun, enough to keep me going. Then I decided enough was enough and I changed careers. I love my job and I finally feel like I am seeing things all the way through. That I am exceptional at what I do. Fear has always been my friend along the way, a reason to stop, an opportunity to stick my head in the sand. This year my resolution is to go deep and to release the fear so that I can truly reach my potential. Not as a new me, but the me that has always been there all the time. The one I have been protecting for some strange reason! I am going deep, spiritual, physical and emotional. I am determined to take the whole year (not just 30 days or for january) to explore and to do more than enough. Especially since the opportunity to combine my two loves (acting and natural healing) may become very real this year!

Boosting Fertility Anything is possible Loula Natural

I feel ready, I feel inspired, I feel supported and safe. I have been hiding to feel strength to do something this year that I have run away from every other year, and I may keep disappearing from you guys over the year- I am okay with that. I am excited for all of 2015 it is going to be an exceptional year! I look forward to sharing the journey with you all, you are welcome to join me.

My action plan is as follows;

Continue to eat real food, healthy fats and fermented foods and drinks. 

To be more intent on healing myself before others

Listen and act on my instincts

Enjoy nature and life’s ups and downs 

Be kind to myself and others.

Get my house in order- no more head in the sand!

new year real me loulanatural pin

 

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